The Female Voice

Author of Free the Hidden Speaker Inside – How your Voice can make you Money and Give you the Life you Desire.

Finalist UK Business Book Awards 2021

Institute of Directors Ambassador Digital & Creative Industries

“The ship is finally moving in the right direction. The man’s world is fast changing. We are not male and female any longer, we are now liquorice allsorts!”

This is a comment by one of my female clients who works as a blaster in mining and civils. She does not only have to control her workforce which consists solely of men, she also needs to negotiate contracts with male clients and on a regular basis deal with mainly male police officers who issue explosive transport and blasting permits. Her challenge is to communicate in such a way that she is not talked over or go unheeded.

Something most interesting has happened over the last 50 years. The female voice has dropped 23Hz from what it was in the 1970’ according to a study undertaken by the University of South Australia. Surprisingly enough, women’s voices are still generally speaking, a whole octave higher than those of men.

I’m forever amazed at how humans mutate and adapt to new circumstances. To think that the female voice has actually become deeper to compete with the male voice, is quite remarkable. I’ve also heard that in future we’ll develop claws instead of hands, start walking hunched over and best of all, grow double eyelids to protect us from too much blue light! Read more about it at studyfinds.org

Your voice as a woman is ‘lighter’, higher in pitch and breathier because you are anatomically different from a man. The female vocal folds or cords situated in the voice box at the top of the pharynx or windpipe, are shorter and thinner, which means they vibrate faster to produce a higher note. Whereas a man in his puberty releases a surge of testosterone which causes his vocals folds to grow longer and thicker. It’s the same with thicker guitar strings which oscillate at a slower pace, by vibrating slower, they produce a deeper or beefier tone. Fortunately for a man, lower-pitched voices give the impression of being more powerful.

What can a woman do to come across as authoritative and influential?

Whatever you do, don’t talk louder or faster and never repeat yourself.

It’s very important to become aware of the sound of your own voice. Start listening to the way you speak, the tempo, volume, intonation and the way you apply pause and emphasis. And remember, the wider your vocal range – the more your voice rises and falls – the more emotional it will sound. Intonation refers to the singing quality of your voice, your speech rhythm. Men tend to speak in full pitch which immediately makes them sound more determined and confident.

Professor Amee Shah, at the Stockton University, New Jersey, found that women’s voices are ‘harder to hear’. In an effort to speak up, they tend to raise their pitch which results in an emotional, jarring and even irritating sound. The trick is to find your ‘tone’. The famous British singer, Maria Nayler, says when you hit your hand accidentally and cry out “ouch!” that note is your unique pitch. You’ll laugh, but when a client’s voice break through, I make him or her strike their hand against the desk to find their tone again. This is a wonderful technique that works for everyone, especially when you struggle to prevent your voice from rising too high.

One of the surest ways to gain respect is to access your built-in microphone –- to learn how to make full use of those hidden resonators which enable you to project loudly and clearly without straining your voice.

Voice placement, or the art of projection, is an intricate and highly specialised technique taught by performance professionals in an in-depth voice enhancing course. I can explain it simply by saying that the voice needs to be released from the throat and brought forward into the mouth. The mouth is the chamber where the sound is enriched and amplified.

If you say “t-t-tttt” you will feel how the tip of your tongue drums lightly on the hard palate directly behind your upper teeth, that is where you should ‘taste’ your words. This is what I make my clients say over and over again: “Taste the words on the tip of my tongue.” And the secret is to actually taste your words on the tip of your tongue.

Here are some basic voice exercises you can do in the bathroom or the car as long as you don’t look sideways to the person stopping at the traffic light next to you! They not only enable clear pronunciation, the process also tightens facial muscles, which is certainly a plus.

Releasing tension in the neck: Stand upright, create space between ears and shoulders. Rub your hands together to create energy and then massage your neck muscles while counting to ten. Slowly and gently drop your head forwards and count to five, now backwards for five counts – take care not to strain it. Put your right hand on your head; don’t pull, simply let it rest, so that the weight of your arm gently stretches the muscle. Do the same to the other side.

To loosen the jaw: Yawn with an open mouth for at least five counts, longer if possible. If you experience any discomfort, begin by doing smaller yawns and only open your mouth wider as your jaw becomes more relaxed.

Purse the lips and smile as broadly as possible. Do this at least ten times.

Stick your tongue out as far as possible, curl it back along your hard palate making sure that the tip of your tongue is tightly pointed. When you reach the back, you’ll feel as though you need to swallow.

Push your tongue into your right cheek as far as you can – in fact you should try and push it right through your cheek. Now to the left, repeat the movements at least ten times. Your tongue will probably hurt. If it does, just suck it for a few seconds to relax it. Any discomfort proves that your tongue muscles are stiff and need some stretching.

Once you have mastered the art of producing a rich and strong voice, you will open your mouth and people will listen to you. To reach that level requires professional guidance and perseverance from your side, but once you’ve accomplished it your whole life will change. Just imagine how your confidence will soar when you can rest assured that people will always hear you – even in an auditorium without a microphone. No one will say “pardon”, “say that again” or “sorry, I can’t hear you”. The moment you speak in a clear, beautifully resonant voice, you’ll come across as authoritative, convincing and trustworthy.

The sound of your voice is crucial to the impression you make. People listen first and foremost to how your voice sounds before they hear what you are saying. If you hear the voice on the other side of the phone saying hello, you will immediately form a picture of the person behind that voice, is that not so? If you phone your mother, she only needs to say hello and you know immediately what mood she’s in. And that’s even more relevant when you’re speaking to your boss! Our voices give away so much of our mental and physical wellbeing, as well as our stress levels, that it’s almost impossible to disguise our feelings when speaking. Just think how many criminals have been caught because their voices gave them away.

I’m in awe of voices. Each one of the approximately eight billion people on earth has a unique voice which of course led to voice recognition technology.

What contributes to your specific voice quality are factors like your parents’ way of speaking and the way their voices are placed and formed; your teachers and friends and their way of speaking which you subconsciously copy; the structure of your own voice box and vocal folds and, more importantly, how you access your resonance cavities.

How to have your say without being interrupted

Whether due to voice issues or for other reasons, women are interrupted significantly more than men. Two sociologists at the University of California, Don Zimmerman and Candace West, recorded 31 conversations in public places and found that men generally talk over women.

Because we communicate with our whole bodies, you need to consider what you say without saying a single word. Some believe that the non-verbal part of our communication comprises as much as 72% of everything we say. From the way you place your feet to the angle in which you carry your head, your body talks on behalf of you. Your ‘look’ – style, hair, makeup, jewellery and even your imagine. If you want to come across as respected and trustworthy in the workplace, you need to avoid low cut tops, revealing slits in skirts, frilly or clingy outfits, dangling or sparkling jewellery, red lipstick, too much rouge and eyeliner and most definitely not 15cm heels.

Added to that, your diction or choice of words is equally important. Have you fallen into the trap of using stop words and phrases i.e., actually, so, now, okay, like and I think? ‘I think’ is one of my pet peeves. Why do some people begin almost every second sentence with ‘I think’ when everything we say is our own thoughts?

Think about it, the very essence of the word ‘think’ refers to something that is fluid, unfinished and not proven. When you begin your sentences with ‘I think’, you will seem even less credible and insecure. Try and replace those nonsensical stop phrases with winning words. Choose strong assertive language like ‘I believe; I agree; I feel strongly; I’m positive; I’m committed; I can prove that…’

A woman who enters a boardroom purposefully, pauses ever so slightly at the door, makes eyecontact, holds her head up high and opens her shoulders, has a far better chance of not being ignored or interrupted.

And if anyone should interrupt you, you simply say in a well-placed, strong and unwavering voice: “Just a moment, let me finish. As I was saying…”