Self-Love and Relationships

How many women do you know have chosen to stop being ALL of who they are, to be HALF of a couple? I did, for years and it almost killed me.

I spent years of my life looking for Mr Right Now and not Mr Right. I had to change and relook at what was driving that behaviour. It was always insecurity and desperation, and I found myself in relationships that brought out the very worst in me. It was pathological from the outset. So, I took some time to discover who I am, and now, my longing for a spiritual partner comes from a real place of knowing and healing, not desperation.

Our most intimate relationships serve as a mirror. Love is nature’s reparative process. What you bring with you when you show up is how you will impact that relationship. You either contaminate it or be in service of it.

Too many people are inauthentic in their relationships.

It is so important to evolve across time, but you never become less of yourself to stay in a relationship. A healthy relationship allows you to flourish and be more of who you TRULY are. I see couples who are together for years, but staying together doesn’t make it good. I see people slowly lose their light and become a fraction of what they could have been, as a result of being in the wrong relationship.

If your relationship makes you feel fragmented because you have to negate an essential part of yourself, then it’s probably not the one you should be in.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

• It is when you’re heard and seen.
• It is where you feel your most authentic and can discuss your innermost feelings without fear.
• It is when expectations are clear.
• It is a real sense of safety.
• It is a willingness to be open to someone else’s perspective.
• It is safe, easy, liberating and consistent.

The relationship between self-love and intimacy is so important. When a woman understands her worth, she will never settle for less. She recognises red flags and keeps firm boundaries.

Give yourself the gift of self-love to get the relationship you truly deserve.

Tivania Moodley