Defining Life’s Journery

TURKISH AMBASSADOR TO SOUTH AFRICA – AYSEGUL KANDAS

Where do you begin when you start to talk about your journey in life? From your childhood? Is it just an event, a defining moment or some sort of serendipity that triggered a course of events bringing you to where you are now? What are the shining pieces in the mosaic panorama that is the life story of a person?”

The road from all these questions to answers stretches a long way, like a path towards an infinite horizon. So, when talking about my journey, it is more fitting to mention some fortuitous events
or moments in my life.

One of the defining points in my life has been entering an American High School in Istanbul after taking its entrance exam. In the 1980s, there were quite a few high schools established by foreigners or missionaries in Istanbul, such as the German school, British school, Italian School, French school etc.

Robert College was, and still is the best private high school in Turkey. Learning English and studying for 7 years there opened many doors for me, such as, entering the American University in istanbul and later going to the US for post graduate studies. Just like everywhere in the world, I believe a good education is most of the time a key to success in life. Even though I had passed the entrance exams of most of the other private schools, my parents decided to send me to the Austrian school. One of our neighbours, who was also the father of a classmate in my primary school, talked to my dad one day and convinced him to send me to Robert College instead. I think that was a critical conversation that changed the course of my life.

After passing the central university exam in 1986, I was placed in Marmara University – Business Administration based on my score. At that point, I did not really care about the subject much since my passion of studying psychology was strongly discouraged by my parents. At the end of my first year there, a friend whom I considered as a big brother talked me into transferring to Bosphorus University – a university Americans had established in late 1800s. This would be my second defining moment. I transferred to the Political Science department based on my grades. While majoring in that subject, I decided early on to become a diplomat and represent my country abroad. My parents did not encourage me to study abroad and I did not really think about going to the US for a Masters degree, while it was a natural path for all students of Bosphorus University. My dad could not afford to pay for my education abroad anyway.

When I ranked second in the Department with a high GPA right before graduation in 1989, I ran into one of my professors on campus. When he inquired about why I had not applied at any American university, he told me about the option of Fulbright scholarships. He called the Ankara Office and asked his friend about the deadline for applications.

When he learned that there were only 3 days left, he helped me complete the forms, collect the reference letters etc. and sent the application forms himself to Ankara. So that was the second person who was really instrumental in contributing to my future career. Had it not been for that teacher, I wouldn’t have heard of Fulbright and the possibility of postgraduate studies with full scholarship abroad. My mom did not want me to live away from her, so I went to Ankara (6 hours away by bus) secretly to take the interview. In the end I went to the US (Seattle, Washington) in 1990 to get an MA in International Relations on a Fulbright scholarship, much to the dismay of my parents I must say.

After completing my studies, I applied and got an internship at the UN in New York which lasted 3 months. Upon returning to Turkey, I entered the written and oral exams of the Turkish Ministry of Foreign Affairs after working in the private sector for a year. It gave me the opportunity to start fresh in a new country, become a world citizen and learn about new cultures, and gain new perspectives in life. Throughout my diplomatic career of 29 years, I have lived in Azerbaijan, Belgium, Germany, and Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, spending on average 4 years in each.

Another defining moment in my career was the birth of my
daughter in Berlin. Trying to balance
my career with motherhood became a challenge from then on. Diplomacy requires long hours of work at the office, also consumes one’s private life. I still struggle with the guilt sometimes even though my daughter is almost 18 now. I took 6 months of unpaid leave in order to spend time with her when she was 2 years old. I believe that being a mother is a blessing and privilege for a woman and needs to be lived to the fullest. I am still not sure if I could master that, still struggling with the tight rope between career and family responsibilities.

The various appointments abroad and various departments inside the Ministry throughout the past 29 years brought me to this posting in SA as an Ambassador for the first time. I have completed my first year in this beautiful country. We do not really have a choice when appointment time comes; the Ministry reserves the right to send a diplomat wherever it deems necessary; therefore the path of my career has always been related closely with my concept of destiny. After all, the country where I will live in the next few years is not within my control.

I have always believed that diplomacy is not just a career but a life style. It becomes your life in the end. Therefore I always hoped for the countries where I could acquire good experiences and memories, fulfil
my life’s purpose while serving my country and touching lives. I can only hope
that in the end it is a fulfilling career and a rich life journey.

There have been some defining moments in my career as well. Let me recite only one here: Serendipity was when I met a South African diplomat in 1994 with the opening of the first SA Embassy in Ankara and we became close friends during my first two years at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs – I was assigned to the Africa Desk then. He quit DIRCO some years later and settled down in Istanbul. He has been living in the same neighbourhood as my parents with his Turkish wife and family. He recently reminded me that I had told him I wanted to get appointed to South Africa some day, impressed with the documentaries shown at his Embassy back in 1995. Who would have thought it would become a dream come true 26 years later…

Sometimes life gives you your dreams, other times you just hope for the best in the great design of your life journey…