7 SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS STRUGGLING & HOW TO REKINDLE THE SPARK!

You have a feeling of sadness. Things are not the same. What has happened to the fun-loving person you once knew? And yes, you are talking about your partner, but about yourself too.

Life was easier, simple, exciting and there was a thrilling sensation that travelled through your body like a roller coaster. Now everything seems difficult. Conversations have become one liners, with us focusing on kids, work and everything in between, which doesn’t include us as a couple.

The signs were there:

1. We argued more than we connected. Our focus shifted away from each other.
2. The fun things that connected us was no longer part of who we are.
3. You withdraw from your partner and trust becomes an issue.
4. You let yourself go; no more date nights or dressing up.
5. The ‘honeymoon phase’ is over; the intimacy has fizzled.
6. Communication feels forced. The days when you couldn’t wait to tell your partner the exciting news, is gone.
7. You both became selfish with your time and won’t go out of your way for one another.

Does this sound familiar?

Couples go through so much daily and their relationships gets tested along the way. It’s not all roses, sexy kisses and moonlit strolls. We must deal with kids, stress, health issues, family, work and then being the perfect partner.

Let’s take a step back.

We need to evaluate the relationship. Has it gone past the stage of reconnecting? Does it need resuscitation? Wherever you may be, make sure to know where you are heading.

“Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people; it is a way of being alive.”

Here are some tips on how to rekindle the relationship and get that spark back.

1. Communication is key in any relationship. Start off by writing a letter to each other like we did when we were at school. Write down the five key elements you know are important to you in a relationship, which are non-negotiable. Then write down what you love about your partner. Next, read each other’s letters and then communicate what you could work on.
2. Reconnect as a couple at least once a week, but if you can do it three times a week, even better. This could be date night, intimacy and of course I always suggest the game “getting to know each other”. Write down on a small piece of paper things you would like to know about your partner eg. What is your favourite place to go on holiday? What is a fantasy you would like to see become a reality? Spice it up a bit.
3. Come up with at least one thing a week to do for your partner that you know they love. Make them tea, pack their lunch, get them their favourite book to read and so on.
4. Intimate items. Add some foreplay items to your experience. Remember foreplay begins right after your last intimate moment together, so you keep it flowing.
5. Be brave and tell your partner when they do something to upset you or that you really didn’t like.
6. My favourite one is to date each other again. Start at the beginning. What attracted you? Where did you go on your first date? And take it from there.
7. Make sure you are taking time out to take care of yourself too. Remember when you are filling your cup, you will be able to give more of yourself to your partner.

There are so many more tips, but I would suggest taking it one step at a time with each other. Don’t force anything or you will be back at square one.

A quote to leave you with “Do what you did at the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.”